Friday, October 17, 2008

This...

...is how I feel

4 comments:

Luanne in Ohio said...

Hi Kristin -
I didn't realize Kimberly Powell had written a second book. Her first book, "Living Miracles" is the one I went to the library and got the day after Ezekiel was born (I still have it...renewed twice).

In the first book, she did a good job of capturing how the parents felt - the ambiguous loss, although I don't know if she used that term. She definitely captured the NICU roller coaster that the 22 different preemie families experienced. I'm going to look for her 2nd book. Thanks so much for posting about it.

You do have things to grieve in the loss of your last three months of "normal" pregnancy, and all the dreams of the home birth the way that you had envisioned it...not to mention the stress of the ups and downs of the last 10 weeks. I know you are thankful for every blessing and answered prayer that God has provided, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't grieve, too. Feelings (grief, and all the rest) aren't right or wrong....they just "are". Love, Mom

J. Pike said...

Hey hun, I think it's very honest of you to admit that you feel this way. It's a normal reaction and you should accept all the feelings you have and cry or grieve or whatever you need to do. I'm sorry we couldn't be there to welcome you as a new mother, but you ARE a mommy now and are a great one! Soon you will have your baby at home with you and I think that will help. I couldn't imagine having our baby boy right now...I wouldn't be ready! I am only 23 weeks tomorrow. What they say is right...you lost those last 3 months to prepare, bond more, and get ready to bring a full-term baby home. The whole game plan changed and I think that if anyone is capable of handling it well it's you and Daniel. You have all our support and love.
Jamie

Kristin said...

Thanks Jamie. :) I appreciate you reading my blog. It makes me feel like you understand more of what we are going through.

Melissa said...

hey Kristin...
This doesn't exactly compare...but after D'arcy was born via C-section I had a lot of grieving to go through for the loss of the experience I had hoped for. My mom would always say, "The most important thing is the baby is healthy." This would infuriate me beyond belief. I felt like she was telling me I wasn't grateful enough for a healthy baby. I was grateful, but I was still sad. I saw another mom go through this when her baby was born and was held in NICU for a week. All of these are small compared to the dramatic events of Ezie's birth. The gratefullness and thankfulness of having Ezie here and growing stronger is apparent, and I hope you can work through the loss you've experienced.